Sunday, June 22, 2003

Well, where do I start? I am totally new to this, but so many bizarre things happen to me in just everyday life, I know I will forget some of it. So this is a way I can remember what has happened, and if it gives a few laughs to others along the way, then so be it (although I am not sure anyone else will actually read this - do people read other people's blogs???).

Ok, a little background. I am 36 years old, separated from a husband who I am still friends with, and still see, although I am not sure this is a good thing for either of us. I live in New Jersey, but I am originally from England. This is a lot of the time the source of my 'bizarreness' - we speak the same language, we think, but it is only when you spend time with people from the 'other side of the ocean' that you realise we don't. Oscar Wilde certainly did get it right! Everyone knows the obvious differences - sidewalk/pavement, elevator/lift - but who knew that mange tout were called snow peas here? I certainly didn't, and once had a very bizarre experience in the work canteen (cafeteria for all you Americans) when I wanted a stir fry.....

What else? I am currently out of work, and looking for a job with someone who is prepared to sponsor my visa. I am a 'good' girl, and so have not (yet) gone the route of illegal work. This means I have a lot of time to just hang out and do nothing.

Ok, first bizarre experience. Earlier this week I went to a local cafe type place for lunch, which serves Indian/Pakistani food. I have been there a few times, because they do a reasonable lunch where you can eat as much as you like, and I love Indian food anyway (a legacy of my British roots). The owner was there, and he came over to chat to me, and got very excited when he found out I was English (Note - I have found since I came here I actually have more in common with the Indian's here, probably because we British had such a 'great' influence on them back in the day). We had a little chat about speech differences (as previously mentioned) and I made some flippant remark when he asked me where I worked that I was going to be deported. He got very concerned, and then said when I had finished my meal we would talk, he may be able to help me. As he had said he had lived here for 19 years, I thought maybe he could help me with the visa/green card process. LOL - silly me! What actually transpired was him sliming all over me, offering me a 'free lunch' next time I came in, as long as I rang him before I came so he could arrange it. He gave me his card, with ALL his phone numbers on, including his home number. When I finally managed to get up to go, he had progressed to 'call me and we can go out for dinner - not here, somewhere nicer......'. He was fat, fifty, and had one of those wonderful Asian 70's porn star moustaches..... No thanks!

Anyway, as I walked out of there, I went to the small shop next door which sold a lot of Indian spices and cooking ingredients - I not only like eating it, I enjoy cooking it too! I wandered around for a while, but couldn;t find all I was looking for. I went up to the counter, and this old man called from the other end of the shop 'Can I help you?'. As he came close, I asked him for what I was looking for, and as he opened his mouth to answer, one of his teeth fell out. Right there in front of me. It fell from his mouth, onto the counter, and bounced onto the floor behind the counter. This guy never even blinked. How I kept a straight face I don't know. As I was paying for what I had bought, he just bent down, picked up his tooth, and threw it into the bin, cool as a cucumber. Maybe his teeth falling out is a common expereience.......

Anyway, enough for now, otherwise this will just get too long, and too boring!

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