Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Proposals of marriage

Saturday nightI was telling Nancy, Eric and Rich of my marriage proposals since I moved here. I have been here 22 months, and in that time had received 6 proposals of marriage. Nancy is a little jealous - she says this is not fair considering I already have a husband.The proposals have been as follows -

(1) Random guy in a bar - there used to be a Mexican restaurant in the downstairs of the building I used to live in, and Nancy still does live in. It had a great happy hour - all beer was $2, and it had free tacos. Can't beat that with a stick! One night, Nancy's sister was staying, we got home from work (after a long trip home on the bus) with 5 minutes to spare before happy hour ended. Nancy went to get her sister, while I ordered 3 beers. In that time, while I ordered the drinks, some guy had started talking to me (the accent draws them every time) and when he learned I actually lived in the place that did $2 beers and free tacos he asked me to marry him. When Nancy came back, and I told her of my marriage proposal, she was shocked. She had been gone less than 5 minutes. Btw - I told him I needed a longer engagement period - and he offered to buy me more beer. A very nice guy.

(2) Sexy Eric - while waiting for the car service after the Amex Christmas party last year, we were all, understandably every drunk. While trying to stop Eric from fighting one of the directors, me, him and this guy called Vivek started talking about visas and green cards and such. Vivek said that if I needed a green card he could help me. I told him that was stupid - Vivek is Indian, already married, and here on a visa himself. I said that Eric was much more use to me, as I could marry him, and become a citizen that way. Eric was very taken with this idea, and proposed to me in front of a whole stack of witnesses. It was only a couple of weeks later that it became necessary. He never followed up on it - just smiles nervously every time it was mentioned.

(3) Gay boy Matt - I was at a party, where Nancy, Jade and I were not only the only girls, but also the only straight people there. It was absolute torture. There were about 30 blokes there, all fit, all sexy, not one of them interested in us. We got talking to this Australian guy called Matt, who was absolutely gorgeous. Over 6 foot, slim, tanned, spiky hair, blonde on the tips. He was not happy with the gay boys at the party - said they were very cliquey (which they were) and weren't talking much to him apart from to hit on him. He wanted to talk to us, because we were fun. Then he asked me if I wanted to live in Australia, I said I'd love to, he said he wanted to live in London, so asked me to marry him. I never saw him again.

(4) Holly's brother - Holly, a girl in Fitzies, offered me her brother. Very strange.

(5) Gay Boy Tom - while waiting for HP in Fitzies last week, one of the gay boys I was talking to asked me to marry him so I could stay here that way. I don't think his boyfriend was too happy.

(6) HP - now this is the most worrying. As Nancy said when I told her "You know he would want to consummate it". Oh yuk.

That was how things stood. Until tonight.

Tonight, my friend Doug took me out to 'Celebrate Ann being deported". Thanks Doug. I think you mean 'commiserate'. Anyway, Doug is Doug, and took me, Nancy, Christine and his boyfriend who none of us can remember his name to a bar called Lips. This is a drag queen bar. Food is pretty good, drinks are yummy, drag act every hour. Doug tells all the people there that I am being deported. Of the 4 drag queens working, 3 of them asked me to marry them. At least none of them would have wanted to consummate it..... they were more interested in Doug and his boyfriend!

Not bad for 22 months - 9 proposals of marriage. Must sort out the divorce........

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