Monday, September 08, 2003

Too many tales

I keep remembering tales from last night (obviously because it was so busy, nothing to do with the copious number of vodka and cokes I drank).

Holly, my new best friend getting very upset when I told her I was leaving in 2 weeks to go back to England. And her offering me her brother as a husband. He lives in Nebraska, he works hard, doesn't drink much, is dead boring, so it would be just great fun. Huh? Because we could leave him at home and go out drinking together, we would have such fun as sisters-in-law. Of course, how obvious!

Meeting a really odd looking guy, with and Elvis style haircut, and enormous sideburns. Expecting him to say he was from Vegas. Oh no. Edinburgh. With a distinct posh Surrey accent - public schooling I reckon! He was about 12 I think.

Roger being very drunk and trying to convince Nancy to take one of her tops off (she was wearing a tight cream vest under a cream lacy top). He preferred the vest to come off, but the lacy one would do. For a start. And him trying to look down both our cleavages at every opportunity. Him getting very upset when he tossed a piece of paper at my cleavage, and missed. How could he miss? Him trying to grope both of us as we left.

A very strange old bloke who started chatting me up, and used the cringe-worthy line that so many men use."So, what does your boyfriend think?" Why do men use this line? Do they really think we won't realise it is a 'subtle' attempt to find out if we have a boyfriend? Just ask me for god's sake!!!!! Him getting very happy at me saying I didn't have a boyfriend. Then very sad when I said I had a husband. Then ensued the "Why aren't you wearing a ring?" conversation. THEN he starts having a go at me for breaking my husbands heart, I should try and work it out with him, I was cruel and heartless to have abandoned him. Huh? How did this suddenly become a conversation about my marital relations, and why did he automatically assume that the break-up was all my fault and my X was pining for me in the depths of Scotland?

Nancy got very drunk - this is the first time she has ever matched me drink for drink on a night out. My capacity for alcohol has always exceeded her (well, my explanation is I have worked in IT in England, and so have had lots of training. She, on the other hand, is an American, and all they have is pissy beer.....). I think she is pretty upset at what she says "Having two half-boyfriends last week, to having none this week". She dumped Army Boy, because he was way too strange - had fallen in love with her on one meeting in a bar, gone away to do army things and had built her up in his mind. And of course, there was her 'Project Marriott Man' to make that more serious. Only he seems to have run. Hasn't called her all week, only one email, the 'Let her work it out for herself' male trick, rather than just coming out and saying it. And her moving in on Dartman Dave. Who seemed, surprisingly, reluctant. I know a few weeks ago he was keen. Him at one point taking me to the jukebox to help choose some music, leaving Nancy behind. Very awkward.

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