Sunday, October 12, 2003

Yes Cacoa, it really is me. And I am online!! I have my pc set up, and running. Only on a dial-up at the moment - I had forgotten how slow it was after my wonderful cable modem - but it will do for now.

Where to start? I actually started keeping a diary while I was offline, cos I missed this so much. Not sure if I want to type all that I wrote here, and definitely not tonight! I will give a brief rundown of my weeks offline -

Packed up
Had one last flirty night with Sexy Eric
Said goodbye to all my old work colleagues - cried
Had a big fight with my American bank manager
Flew back
Had a big fight with my mother when I had jet-lag
Moved into my new flat
Bought a pc
Started work
Bought a car (sunshine yellow and boy does it go zoom!)
Drove it to see a boy
Drove it back to greet my parents coming to visit my new flat to make sure I am 'settled' in
Worked some more

That's it in a summary. Might give the details later when I am not too busy sorting out the settings on the new pc.

My parents have been over again today. I spoke to my mother yesterday, saying I was having trouble building the desk. She rang back half an hour later. "I've spoken to your dad and he says it's ok, we will come down tomorrow to finish off your desk for you. We'll be there about the same time as last week". Huh? I missed the "I am helpless and have to have my parents sort everything out for me" part of the conversation. They are driving me mad somewhat - they are treating me like I am still a teenager and need them to look after me. It is nice in a way, I know it is because they love me and care about me, but for god's sake! I am a 36 year old (very) independent woman.

Having said that, I did get my desk built today, and hence I am online.

They are also driving me mad, because they (I say they, but it is mainly my mom) keep asking me "How is Tim?" and other such leading questions. What is so annoying is that my mom has now discovered text messaging, and she texts Tim. She has more contact with him than I do. She is so convinced that me working and living here in Northampton is a temporary thing, until I come to my senses and move to Edinburgh to be with him.

I think that is part of the reason they came down today. Today is my wedding anniversary. 12 years ago, I became Mrs Tim. And I thought the world was fantastic. I still do think that was the best day of my life. I loved every single minute of it. And I thought it was going to last forever. Probably no different to any other girl on her wedding day I suppose. How little I knew...

And yeah, I am a little sad. Especially when I think about just how happy I was that day. But I am also a realist. I know that I am happier now we are split - just as he is happier too. I am sad for what could have been, not for what was.

Oh hell, that's me all sentimental!!

On a lighter note this is quite fun!

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