Sunday, November 23, 2003

More bloody texts

Not sure if this is a bitch about texting, or about X. I suppose it is about X.

I wrote that whole long essay about me and X, and I left one bit out. Not deliberately, just there was so much just came pouring out, that I forgot about this bit. I remembered after, and thought about adding it (just the fact of writing it down seems to have helped) but I decided not to. I have now changed my mind.

About 5 years ago, one of my friends I worked with rang me at home one evening, before the X came in. He told me he and his wife were expecting a baby. Now, loads of other friends had got pregnant, but whether it was the drugs or what, this time I got really upset. Obviously, I didn't let the friend know, but when X came home he found me in tears. I explained about our friends, and how I felt jealous, but I also felt guilty for feeling jealous. Because them not expecting a baby would make no difference to our situation. And I was crying because my feelings were all out of control. And god knows what else I was crying about.

X seemed pretty good - he comforted me, took me out to dinner, made comforting noises along the "We will be soon, I am sure".

One month later I got an email from him. At work. At 11 o'clock in the morning. To tell me another friend of ours was pregnant.

I was shocked. I mean - just how insensitive is this man? Couldn't he have waited until I got home and told me in person? Given the way I had reacted at the last pregnancy announcement, didn't he think I might be just a teensy bit upset, and that letting me know via email might just be, well, WRONG?

Obviously not.

Anyway, we ended up having a huge row that night - I wasn't so much upset about hearing of a friend getting pregnant, but at him being so damn thoughtless. And of course it led to the usual apologies, and the usual promises.

Seven or so months later, I got another email. From X. At work. Telling me that these friends had just had a baby girl.

And he wondered why I screamed at him when he came home.

Even when we went to Relate, he never made any connection between these 3 events. He harbours a grudge because I shouted at him for sending me an email when our friends gave birth.

And what's made me write about this today?

I got a text message from him yesterday morning. Telling me one of his friends who we used to be quite close to have just had a baby girl.

He couldn't even ring and tell me over the phone.

Fucking arsehole!!!

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