Sunday, January 18, 2004

He's been, he's now gone

And it didn't go too badly.

Of course, we didn't have the 'talk' that was needed. I don't know what it is about him that winds me up so much in this matter, but he never takes the initiative in anything about our relationship - he wants to be told what to do and when. And I am just cutting my nose off to spite my face in refusing to bring up any subject relevant to our relationship and how we are going to move on. On principle. Then it gets to now, and I feel annoyed with myself for not saying anything. Stupid.

I did let him sleep in my bed. But no sex. I sorted out my big tshirt nightie, and kept my knickers on. Like he said - it was nice to cuddle. It was obvious he wanted sex, but I made that clear at the front it was not on the menu.

We did have fun, if I am honest. Only the one row, when he complained he didn't have any photos, and could I sort some out for him. I got annoyed - two years ago when he moved out he took nothing - not a single thing. When I went to his flat, it was so obvious he had taken nothing from what was our relationship - he had just run out and left the whole lot for me to deal with. Now he is moving on, he wants me to sort out some things he would now quite like. Arsehole.

Had a few laughs about his clothes - not so much his dress sense, but the whole thing really. He was wearing this awful shirt when I picked him up on Friday, and I asked him if his mother had bought it for him. Turned out one of his girlies helped him choose it. Saturday morning, he was wearing this really nice black tshirt. I was complimenting him on it, saying how much more it suited him than the shirt he had worn Friday, and I asked him where he'd got it. I got a dirty look. "You chose this on my last visit to see you in New York." Hahahahahaha. So I do have great taste then.

We went shopping cos he wanted a coat, and went into various shops. He is such a girl when it comes to shopping, it is bloody annoying. Doubly so as I am not like that when I shop for things for me in the slightest. Anyway, after trying on about 6 million coats, he decided on one he liked. Then he said he wanted a jumper. I picked one up off the sale rack which was really nice, and really cheap. Held it up to him to see if it would fit across his belly and chest, and it looked okay, but he decided to try it on anyway. Good job he did. He couldn't get it on over his head. It was hysterical - he was walking around the shop with this jumper on, with his shiny bald head trying to poke out of the top. I nearly wet myself there and then. Anyway, we find another jumper, and a nice shirt too, when he decides he has seen more coats he wants to try on. He picks up a nice leather jacket, which he tries on, and it looks okay. Then he tried to undo the buttons. And couldn't do it. He was tugging and yanking at them - I was scared he was going to rip the jacket, so I dumped all his shopping on the floor and tried to help him. Like a mother with a little boy. And I couldn't undo them either. Maybe I guess you had to be there, but the two of us were rolling on the floor in hysterics, I was crying with laughter, trying to get this bloody jacket off.

He has gone now. And it is a bit of a relief. I think we can still see each other and be friends.

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