Monday, March 15, 2004

Long weekend

I've been a busy girl. Big G was here - he came Wednesday night, and left this lunch time. Originally he was going to come down Thursday, but as neither of us had any plans, and no reason not to, he came down Wednesday.

A bit of a weird weekend - still in the very much 'getting to know you' phase. Got lots of mixed signals from him - but probably not as many as he got from me.

It is really very hard not to talk about X - he was such a big part of my life for so long, I am conscious of talking about him all the time. Even when I try not to, it is still hard. But then, he also talks about his ex's (of which there are two major ones) so I guess that makes us even.

Big discussion about baggage - and what constitutes baggage. According to him I don't have any (huh? When I talk about X all bloody day?) because I don't have kids. Apparently if you have children you come with baggage. We had to agree to disagree on that one - I think I have so much baggage - emotional anyway. He comes with both, lol. But then you get to my age and every one has baggage of some sort.

Mixed signals - I was invited out for drinks with J and D on Friday, and had asked him if he wanted to go last week. He had said yes. When it got close though, he said he wasn't keen - no real reason given other than 'shy'. I think it might have been cold feet and thinking maybe the meeting of friends is a first step in commitment. Then, he is on the phone to his 9 year old daughter, and passes the phone for me to speak to her. Definite mixed signals there. Scared of the commitment of talking to friends, how bloody scared did he think I was talking to his bloody daughter?

We also both got a bit drunk on Saturday night. He told me things I think he probably hasn't told many other people - things he said he wasn't proud of. I am glad he can talk to me like that. I felt I should have repaid the compliment, but I still have skeletons in my closet I am not prepared to discuss with him. Yet, anyway.

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